Tag Archives: dominance

Anal Advice: Prostate Play

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ASI received a fan question from a male who seemed ashamed to ask his female partner to repeat a few anal tricks on him and he wasn’t sure how to approach it with her in the future. I can definitely understand where he was coming from, but I also felt kind of bad. It is extremely unfortunate that in our society prostate and male anal play is seen with such a negative stereotype and it’s seen that way because of the stigma that surrounds being a homosexual male. As someone who fully supports trans* and gay rights, it makes me extremely sad to see this unfair stigma effecting what should be a very healthy sexual activity between consenting adults. Continue reading →

The Good Girl’s Guide to Domination

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This is a PREVIEW article written by Akasha. To read the other chapters, visit her website. COPYRIGHT 2003, 2005 [email protected]

Photo from http://www.mrwallpaper.com

“I believe that many women are intimidated by and uncomfortable with the concept of erotic female domination because of the way they see it portrayed in adult films and in the media. I believe that men also develop many bad habits after years of satisfying their fantasies on their own, and focusing on their own pleasure. Through communication, trust and safe, sane & consensual exploration of erotic power exchange, I think many couples can experience pleasure they never imagined, and also develop better relationship communication and intimacy.” Continue reading →

Honesty: A Dominant’s Side, a Submissive’s Point of View

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tumblr_mr6ajoTFOa1swo0q8o1_500To be a Dominant, a true Dominant, is a hard job. Aside from the usual load of daily ‘Domhood’, a Dominant has to read His submissive. This is a very hard thing to do because how is one Man, whom from our submissive eyes is supposed to be this all knowing and in control person up on His pedestal, unable to just read us like a book? He has before, with a touch, a command. He’s shown that He knows you in how He treats you. So we assume its easy for Him to do so, to see through us because from the moment we became His, we think or believe somewhere deep within our minds that somehow He gained these magical ‘Dominant Powers’ that make Him everything He is when He is with us. He doesn’t and there isn’t. He is just a Man. A strong Man who can melt us with one glance and somehow bring out the best, or at least the desire to be our best, just for Him. Continue reading →

How BDSM Saved My Marriage and Gave Me Peace of Mind

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This is my personal story about how discovering and learning about BDSM helped my husband and me come to an important understanding within our marriage, as well as guided me to a place in my life where I am now comfortable with my body and who I am as a person. This is the journey from a vanilla marriage that was quickly falling apart to a 24/7 D/s lifestyle that has helped us become closer than ever. Continue reading →

How to Spot a Potential Abuser

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Those red flags are there to expose an abuser if only we were trained to see them. You will read the list and think “Now why oh why didn’t I think of that!” This checklist is a general one, as well all know in the BDSM lifestyle, some of these signs are not that of an abuser but of a good dominant, but like all things it doesn’t hurt to have a good idea about what might fall under the category of a potential abusive relationship/person.

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Ten Tips for Bringing BDSM Into Your Bedroom

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By Joey W. Hill

“I loved your book so much I tried to tie up my boyfriend while he was asleep. He woke up before I could, but it all worked out anyway…”

Ah, the delicious meaning in that dot, dot, dot. This fan mail is one of my favorites, a definite keeper, but it is probably not the best approach for introducing BDSM in your bedroom. The road to restraining orders starts here.

The truth is, I’ve always had readers interested in this topic but the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena has planted seeds in the minds of millions of Americans. So how do you introduce BDSM into your bedroom in a way that can lead to fun, intimacy and a little dot, dot, dot?

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BDSM: A Guide for Nice Guys

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Fool boy is waiting his girlfriend

(This page is written to address BDSM for nice guys; there’s an
introduction to BDSM for good girls on the Web here.)

So you’re a nice guy. You think that people should be treated with respect and courtesy; you find violence, particularly violence against women, reprehensible; you would never, under any circumstances, raise your hand in anger against someone you love. And now your partner is asking you to tie her up, or call her names, or spank her, or maybe even “rape” her. All this goes against everything you believe. What do you do? Continue reading →

Safe, Sane, and Consensual

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The Safe Submission www.facebook.com/thesafesubmissive

The Safe Submission
www.facebook.com/thesafesubmissive

by Tamar Kay
Copyright©1995

You will often hear it said that the first and most important rule in B&D-S/M is that all things we do with each other must be safe, sane, and consensual. What does this mean? Ask any set of experienced players and you’ll get a different set of answers. Here’s mine.

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Talking Dirty?

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Fan Question:”I’m in a new relationship with a man who loves to be dominated. I’ve always wanted to explore bdsm but never trusted any of my previous partners to do so. When I met the man I’m with now it felt like we were destined to be together. We had an instant connection and we trust eachother completely. As far as dominating him I’m working on it my only thing is I’m not confident enough idk why because he always tells me everrytime we try something new that I’m doing very well but idk I can’t seem to convince myself lol. U have any pointers for a new girl ?? My biggest weakness is the talk, its like I blank out . He loves when I talk dirty, drives him crazy but sometimes I cant think of anything!!!”

Answer: It’s going to take some practice! WHAT you say depends on what turns him on.. so maybe just ask him what gets him going? Is there a certain phrase or word that gets him really excited? Then you could use that to your advantage.. use it make him orgasm faster than expected, to tease him, to deny him, etc. That all depends on what kind of D/s relationship you guys have. I think once you understand what words/phrases turn him on and which ones kill his sexual appetite, you’ll have more confidence in USING those words for your own fun!

Bratty?

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Fan Question: “I have trouble submitting fully, as my cheeky personality comes through and makes people see me as a brat. Does anyone have advice for preventing this?”

Answer: My advice would be.. don’t stop being who you are! If you are a little bratty.. so be it… a lot of submissives have “bratty” qualities and this is something that a Dom will either find endearing.. or not. You shouldn’t change your personality to please someone.