Happy Spanksgiving!

Saturday morning I woke up so nauseous with excitement and anxiety I honestly thought I would have to run to the bathroom at any moment. I walked around the house getting ready to leave for Spanksgiving in St. Louis holding my stomach and whining to Daddy “I am soooo nervous!” See, a few weeks ago Daddy and I were invited to attend Spanksgiving for a day so we would have the chance to meet Susan Wright, The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom Board and the organizers of the event, members of STL3. Since Daddy and I have never attended a lifestyle event before, we had no idea what to expect.

Not only that, but I had no clue what I was going to say to the woman who I have heard so much about throughout my research on consent and BDSM. She had become this mythical creature, much like a mermaid, who I thought I would only hear her singing from afar but never get the chance to catch a glimpse of. I was about to finally see this mermaid, up close and personal… as long as I didn’t get sick on the way there first.

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Michael Makai- Author of “Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook”

The Jian Ghomeshi scandal has become unavoidable. It is literally everywhere on the internet, television and, of course, on the radio. If you’ve been living under a rock, here’s a timeline by Global News of accusations and evidence against the former radio show host. Since he was let go by CBC, the scandal has started a much needed social discussion on BDSM and what consent actually is. Not only that, but it has also prompted the question “Why don’t victims speak up?” or the idea of the “Jian Ghomeshi Effect” that Camilla Gibb talks about in her recent Salon article.

So let’s explore the definition of consent shall we. If I were to explain consent to a child, I would say it simply means saying “yes” or giving permission. However, for adults consent usually isn’t that black and white. There are grey areas where we could argue that consent was implied or previously agreed upon. (more…)

By Joey W. Hill

“I loved your book so much I tried to tie up my boyfriend while he was asleep. He woke up before I could, but it all worked out anyway…”

Ah, the delicious meaning in that dot, dot, dot. This fan mail is one of my favorites, a definite keeper, but it is probably not the best approach for introducing BDSM in your bedroom. The road to restraining orders starts here.

The truth is, I’ve always had readers interested in this topic but the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena has planted seeds in the minds of millions of Americans. So how do you introduce BDSM into your bedroom in a way that can lead to fun, intimacy and a little dot, dot, dot?

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