Tag Archives: health

Anal Advice: Prostate Play

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ASI received a fan question from a male who seemed ashamed to ask his female partner to repeat a few anal tricks on him and he wasn’t sure how to approach it with her in the future. I can definitely understand where he was coming from, but I also felt kind of bad. It is extremely unfortunate that in our society prostate and male anal play is seen with such a negative stereotype and it’s seen that way because of the stigma that surrounds being a homosexual male. As someone who fully supports trans* and gay rights, it makes me extremely sad to see this unfair stigma effecting what should be a very healthy sexual activity between consenting adults. Continue reading →

Abusive Past

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Question:

“i’ve been a sub for a little over a year. my last Dom didn’t listen to the safety word or even when i said stop and didn’t give any aftercare. being a sub has opened a passionate side of me i thought would never appear but i’m afraid to get another bad Dom. if you have any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.”

First off I want to say that I’m sorry you had to go through that. It is unfortunate that some people think that being a Dom means they abuse their submissives. I know it will probably take a lot of trust on your part to be able to take the “gamble” and enter into another D/s relationship, so take your time to heal and learn what you want to get out of your next relationships first. We have several articles on our website that deal with abuse and BDSM, so please feel free to go through these results and I hope they will help you out. Also, we have a sister page, The Safe Submissive, that posts more about safety issues and abuse within the community and several groups on different social sites if you need any support.

BDSM Basics: Caring For Your Toys

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After diving head first (as most of us do) into the world of BDSM we generally start to feel comfortable enough to purchase a few “toys”, then a few more, and a few more, and just a couple more.. until we have a collection that needs its own hiding space in the back of the closet. Sure, these toys are plenty of fun, but do you know how to properly take care of them? Continue reading →

Pleasure, Pain and Science…Part Two

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Before you read this, please take a look at Part One! right here- http://asubmissivesinitiative.wordpress.com/2013/07/21/pleasure-pain-and-science-part-one/, which discusses Pain. There will be a poll for Part Three, for you to participate in, so we can analyze a little information for ourselves, and maybe gain some insight. Either way, I hope you will enjoy it, and benefit from the information I’ve gathered.

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How to Spot a Potential Abuser

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Those red flags are there to expose an abuser if only we were trained to see them. You will read the list and think “Now why oh why didn’t I think of that!” This checklist is a general one, as well all know in the BDSM lifestyle, some of these signs are not that of an abuser but of a good dominant, but like all things it doesn’t hurt to have a good idea about what might fall under the category of a potential abusive relationship/person.

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Ten Tips for Bringing BDSM Into Your Bedroom

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By Joey W. Hill

“I loved your book so much I tried to tie up my boyfriend while he was asleep. He woke up before I could, but it all worked out anyway…”

Ah, the delicious meaning in that dot, dot, dot. This fan mail is one of my favorites, a definite keeper, but it is probably not the best approach for introducing BDSM in your bedroom. The road to restraining orders starts here.

The truth is, I’ve always had readers interested in this topic but the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena has planted seeds in the minds of millions of Americans. So how do you introduce BDSM into your bedroom in a way that can lead to fun, intimacy and a little dot, dot, dot?

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Pleasure, Pain, and Science…Part One

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I have Decided to separate this article into a 3 part series, since the information I gathered has turned out to be too much for just one article. Well, hopefully 4, if I can convince enough of you to take the poll I have envisioned for the third part! The results compared to the research I’ve presented here, would be the theoretical fourth part, so I need your help, please!

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Online Relationships and Cheating

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“What are the possibilities of such a relationship working over the internet? Also, both men and women are prone to cheating on internet partners. Seeing you feel so strongly about the mutual respect, trust, “cherish your partner”, all those things mentioned in the one post of yours. Do those “rules” then apply to a virtual relationship as well? I’m totally new to this entire concept….”

Answer:
What rules apply to a relationship are up to those actively engaged in that relationship. Some people find that online relationships lack a physical aspect and therefore find that it’s entirely appropriate for their partners to seek affection in real life. Others cannot emotionally deal with the idea of their partner being with someone else physically and find that online play is sufficient for both of them. Either way, communication and honesty are key to making an online relationship last. If you are open about your expectations and desires, then you will find a relationship (online or real life) that works for you.

Pet Play by MistressKay

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Pet play is the act of pretending to be an animal or taking on animal-like tendencies. It isn’t usually used for arousal purposes although some do use it that way. It usually is just used as a way to escape from regular life responsibilities. If you are a cute, snuggly kitty, you don’t have to pay the bills or clean the sink – you can just relax and focus on being a little mindless pet.

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Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare by Mistress Abode

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tumblr_inline_mkea0pL9RY1qz4rgpWritten by Mistress Abode

There are lots of reasons you are checking out this emergency post…

Perhaps you are a sub who played real time with a Dom/me who was lousy at aftercare. Or you are a dominant or a switch who played with a sub who didn’t realize tops need aftercare as well. Perhaps you have an online Master who doesn’t think aftercare is required after online play – you on the other hand know from prior play experience that you need aftercare, and also sometimes experience subdrop. Or perhaps your normally supportive and experienced Mistress is unable to fulfill their usual “special time” due to unforseen real life commitments.

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