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Tag Archives: kink
Support FetLife Subscription Giveaway!
We’re giving a 6 month Support FetLife subscription through this week’s Share Saturday contest!
Check out the pinned post on our Facebook page for how to enter!
http://www.facebook.com/asi.bdsm
How to Spot a Potential Abuser
Those red flags are there to expose an abuser if only we were trained to see them. You will read the list and think “Now why oh why didn’t I think of that!” This checklist is a general one, as well all know in the BDSM lifestyle, some of these signs are not that of an abuser but of a good dominant, but like all things it doesn’t hurt to have a good idea about what might fall under the category of a potential abusive relationship/person.
BDSM/Kink/Fetish Studies PCA/ACA
ATTENTION! The PCA/ACA (Popular Culture Association/American Culture Association) is “looking for presenters for the 2014 conference! This is an academic setting. Papers don’t actually have to be written, but an intelligent and thoughtful presentation is a must.”
“CALL FOR PAPERS
We are interested in any and all topics about or related to the study of BDSM, sexual kink, or sexual fetishes in all genres, all media, all countries, all kinds, and all eras. All representations of BDSM, Kink, and fetishes in popular culture (fiction, stage, screen—large or small, commercial, advertising, music, song, dance, online, real life, etc.), from anywhere and any-when, are welcome topics of discussion. We also welcome any academic discussion of the real-life practice of BDSM, sexual kink, or sexual fetishes, as well as the lived experiences of people identifying as kinky.
We will consider proposals for individual papers, sessions organized around a theme, and special panels. Sessions are scheduled in one-hour slots, ideally with four papers or speakers per standard session.
Submit a one-page (200-300 words) proposal or abstract.
Please send all inquires to:
Michelle Martinez
Sam Houston State University
http://pcaaca.org/bdsmkinkfetish-studies/
The Real Fifty Shades of Grey-Documentary
Making Time for Kink
By Rose Petal
So, you’re in a BDSM relationship? You have kids? You have a job? You have other responsibilities besides the ones to your Daddy/Dom, or Mommy/Mistress? You have a life, right! As much as we want to, we don’t always have enough time in the day to please everyone, and if you are remotely human, you probably please yourself last at the end of the day, if you get the chance at all. So how do we make the special time we do have with our partner count, when all too often, it is but a fleeting hour of pleasure once or twice a week? Continue reading
Feitsh Q&A
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ANNOUNCEMENT!
Thursday, May 2nd, we will be hosting our next tinychat Q&A!
We will be starting this Q&A off on the topic of Fetishes, so be sure to bring your questions!
ASI rules will apply to the tinychat! If you are rude, start spamming or are simply there to cause trouble, we will remove you, so please play nice. 
No need to register, you can sign in using your FB and if you have any questions feel free to message us.
Vanilla Men
Fan Question:
“Hiya! Can I ask some advice? Maybe also to the page page fans but I hope I can be anonymous…
A few months ago I have broken out of a 24/7 D/s, in a bdsm setting I’m submissive. It was my first D/s experience and the relationship lasted 18 months. At the moment I am single, not really looking for a new Dom/Daddy or maybe vanilla-ish partner but it looks like men smell I am single again, they come right at me. I am open about my orientation. What I see what happens is that men are interested in me, they say they are not into bdsm but I notice they think I’m kind of a sex freak (which maybe I will be to them) and they can do everything with me. Do more submissive single notice this? Maybe it has something to do with the 50 Shades hype? However, I don’t like it. There even was a man complaining I behaved not submissive to him and by the tone of his words I could hear he was disappointed although he did not tried to dominate me. He does not have a clou what bdsm is about, I don’t have to tell you that. Are there more single submissives have this kind of experience, vanilla men that are disappointed that you don’t submit to them? And do you also have the feeling vanilla men come after you because you are bdsm orientated?
How do you handle that? I don’t want to look for a D in the scene at the moment and some vanilla’s are quite nice and even into rough sex, which can open grounds for maybe some bdsm components and a bdsm exploration. I’m not searching but I’m open for nice people.”
Answer: Unfortunately, it is pretty common. Those who aren’t experienced or knowledgeable about BDSM tend to generalize submissive females as “freaks”.. or maybe they just confuse the term with nymphomaniacs? It comes with the territory and is something we can either help correct through education (which is our goal here) or learn to deal with. If you are upfront about your needs, then you should get the results you desire. If you want a dominant partner who is willing to develop a D/s relationship, then you’ll find that.. but if you continually look for a dominant figure in a vanilla world.. you’re most likely going to find more and more people expecting you to act promiscuous because you identify as a submissive. You can always check out BDSM communities and talk with people online who have BDSM in common with you.. develop friendships that way
How to Get “the ball rolling”?
Question: my girlfriend has recently sort of ‘came out’ to me about really liking being dominated, she’s held this back from me for a year and a half or more because she was scared it would scare me away.
I’m a bit hurt that she thought so little of me since we’ve been together for 3 and a half years, but im holding that back because im really more interested in pleasing her.
but whenever i try to start a conversation about boundaries, likes, and dislikes she tuns into an “i dont know i guess” factory. i really want her to be happy because I’ve seen her going online to try to get people to talk dirty to her and it worries me that i can’t provide for her sexually. how can i get this ball rolling?
Answer: It sounds like she’s afraid to admit her desires to you and I can definitely relate to that.. it’s scary to admit those things to someone you are so emotionally attached to. We have a great BDSM checklist that we encourage all new couples to go over TOGETHER so they can get to know each other’s limits, desires and interests without having to really ‘bring up’ any specific fetish or kink. Just suggest going through the list with her and maybe start off by finding something on it YOU’RE interested in to make her feel more comfortable. Of course, there will be things you guys don’t feel the same about, but you can always reach a compromise about them and try things out together.
Discussing Desires
Fan Question: “I have a problem with talking to my master about fantasies that I have and things I really wanna try. I’m afraid my master will look at me differently or won’t be into it at all. Do you have any advice as to how I can open up to him a little easier?”
Answer: Hi , communication is a HUGE part of a D/s relationship and it is crucial that you both are open and honest with each other. Besides, what’s the point of being involved in BDSM if you aren’t able to express your desires and fantasies openly and freely? It might be best if you both sit down and have a serious discussion about what you both want out of your relationship. You can also go over our BDSM checklist together. It’s a pretty detailed list of fetishes that you guys can discuss together.
