Fan Question:”
“heres my problem i am a natural sub but my current bf kinda is too. ive asked him to be more domanat but hes so senstive and sweet hes tried some of the things ive told him i like but its like hes scared to domanate me like i so wish he would. how can i help bring him out of his shell and amke him feel more comforatable and want to be my master. sn this is the frist relationship hes ever been in with a sub he actually never knew about this life style before we got together any helpful ideas would be great”
Answer: If your current partner isn’t naturally Dominant, there’s no way to “covert” them. Someone has to have some dominant or submissive qualities in order to take on those roles.. so someone who is more submissive would feel extremely uncomfortably taking on a Dominant role. Sorry, but there’s no “Dominant To-Do List” that will create a Dom person.
Don’t rule out one or both being a switch….something i never thought of before…?
Yes, but a switch will fit comfortably in the role of Dominant AND submissive, they won’t feel awkward being the Top, as this fan’s partner was.
I am a total masochist, and a partial sub. I have never hit anyone in my life, and feel I cannot. Yet if this were the deal, I think even I could do it…..it would need, admittedly, an awful lot of talking first….has not arisen yet, thank goodness. But it was just an idea…
I am speaking from about twenty years of experience , if the BF or Hubby is not Dominant chances of bringing anything out are slim to none. A lot of men are not really into kink, or control most are controlling. On the other side a lot of men view being dominant as being abusive.
Second one can be dominant in the bedroom if just play is taking place, but outside of the bedroom this takes a great deal of work.
I believe we are who we are, to ask to change would be wrong. You may be an older female and your submissive side comes out at a later age, but it does not work that way with a dominant. It takes years for a dominant to perfect his style.
I agree! Though I think some Dominants may not have “discovered” that side of themselves unless introduced to it.. once they are aware of those possibilities, but still show lack of interest.. there’s no way to make them into a Dominant.. it has to occur by their own free will.
I have seen that happen once before. The key is to hook him up with a good mentor. Someone who can teach and guide
Any suggestions on a mentor for a late blooming switch (to bring out his Domly side?)